If you’ve ever left therapy and wondered, “Did I do that right?” you’re not the only one. Whether you’re new to therapy or not, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed during a session. Maybe you’re worried about saying all the right things, or stressed about forgetting important topics you wanted to bring up. At times you might even feel like you can’t fully digest the advice and knowledge your therapist is passing on. Thankfully, there are some strategies you can do before, during, and after each session to help you get the most out of therapy.
It’s normal to wonder if you’re making mistakes in your sessions (hint: you’re probably not). Still, it’s important to feel like you’re reaping the most benefits out of each and every session — not only because therapy typically doesn’t come cheap, but also because every therapy session is a chance to improve your mental health. If you believe you’re leaving anything on the table during your sessions — not being as honest as possible, or not leaving with as many takeaways as you’d like — then it might be worth refining your approach.
To help you squeeze all the juice out of your next therapy appointment, no one can advise you better than therapists themselves. Read on for their advice on how to get the most out of therapy. One reminder before we jump in, though: There’s truly no “wrong” way to do therapy. If you’re in therapy, you’ve already taken a big step in working on your mental health, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “perfect” this process. Rather, think of these tips as ways to enhance all the good work you’re already doing.
How to Get the Most Out of Therapy
If you’re looking to get more out of therapy, here’s a few expert-approved strategies to try before, during, and after your next session.
Before Your Session
- List What You Want to Talk About: Take a few minutes before your session to identify the things you’d like to bring up. You can even take notes throughout the week when important discussion topics come to mind. Either way, this can help you distill what you’re struggling with and glean new insights “by trying to use language to express your concerns,” says registered psychologist and cognitive-behavioral therapist Houyuan Luo, PhD. Additionally, preparing what you’d like to talk about can “ensure you’re able to prioritize any key topics during your session,” says therapist Annia Palacios, LPC.
- Create a Distraction-Free Environment: It’s important to create a calm, comfortable environment for therapy, especially if you’re doing teletherapy. “Therapy is your special time,” says counselor and educator Quanesha Johnson, LPC. “Make sure you carve out the space and time that will help you get the most out of your experience.” That means turning off all notifications, putting away your phone (if possible), and trying to set yourself up in a private area where you can talk comfortably.
- Keep a Journal: “Journaling in between sessions can help you remember what happened, what worked, what didn’t work, and maybe things that haven’t been discussed but need to be discussed,” says therapist Jessica Jefferson, MA, MS, LMFT. Keeping a journal can also help you track your progress and give you a space for positive affirmations, she adds.
During Your Session
- Take Notes: “Your therapist may drop a nugget in a session that you don’t want to forget, so having a notebook and pen nearby can come in handy,” says therapist Bianca Walker, LPC. (You can also take notes on your phone or computer, although they have the potential to be distracting.) Taking notes will help you digest information and better remember any breakthroughs you might have. It’s also a good idea to jot down any goals or “assignments” you have for the coming week.
- Be Honest: This advice is simple in theory, but often a little tougher in practice. “It can be hard or uncomfortable for many people to come into the therapy space and share [things honestly], as there aren’t many places in the world where people spend 50+ minutes talking about themselves,” says clinical mental health counselor Corrine Harris, PhD, LCMHC. Still, she encourages clients to “push past their discomfort” and be as transparent and forthcoming as possible, “so that the therapist can gain a better understanding of who the client is and what they’re experiencing.”
- Don’t Be Afraid to Go “Off Script”: If you’ve jotted down some things you want to talk about, feel free to share a loose agenda with your therapist so you’re both on the same page. That said, don’t worry if you stray from your plan. “During sessions, sharing what’s coming up for you or where your mind goes isn’t random,” says art therapist Jackie Tassiello, ATR-BC, LCAT. “Letting your therapist know your thoughts, memories, or associations during sessions can be a gateway to more self-awareness.”
- Ask Questions: “If your therapist is saying things you don’t understand, ask for clarification,” says psychotherapist Keischa Pruden, LCMHCS, LCAS, CCS. “Therapists can often fall into ‘clinical speak’ without realizing it. Asking for clarification can be their signal to simplify their explanations.”
- Don’t Worry What Your Therapist Is Thinking: “If you notice in your day-to-day life that you tend to hold back your emotions in order to not burden people with your feelings, therapy is an excellent place to give yourself permission to feel and express any and all emotions that show up,” says somatic therapist Victoria Smith, LCSW. Know that your therapist will not feel burdened by you, no matter how heavy the topics or how big your emotions. “Therapists do the work they do so that people can feel safe and supported,” Smith explains. It’s natural to want to avoid sharing certain details with your therapist for fear of being judged, but remember that this is a judgment-free zone. There’s no need to try to appear perfect to your therapist. They’re here to help you through the very issues you’re nervous about sharing.
After Your Session
- Take Time to Reflect: Right after your session, give yourself a couple of minutes to “let it marinate,” Walker says. “What was helpful? Did it bring up other questions?” Take a few minutes to write down any reflections or takeaways, either in a journal or in a note on your phone.
- Do Your Homework: Your therapist might give you some “homework” (i.e. a specific task, challenge, or reflection) to complete before your next session. Do your best to finish it and to be honest about your experience — even if you didn’t get around to it. “It’s not always fun or easy to complete these assignments, but they’re helpful because they help clients apply what they’ve learned in sessions to their everyday lives,” Harris says.
- Give Honest Feedback: Many of the experts here recommend giving feedback to your therapist when something is or isn’t working. Above all, avoid abruptly stopping therapy, says therapist Zahara Williams, LCSW-S. Instead, she advises “talking to your therapist so they can pivot their approach or refer you to someone who may be a better fit.”
- Stay Consistent: “If you’re inconsistent with appointments, it’s hard for a therapist to accurately assess progress,” Jefferson says. “If there’s a reason consistency is a problem, being honest with your therapist is a great option to think of ways to help.” Most therapists recommend weekly or biweekly sessions to start — and there’s a reason for that. Licensed clinical psychologist Pauline Yeghnazar Peck, PhD, MMFT, compares it to working on physical fitness. “Would personal training work if you only attended once a month?” she asks. “As difficult as it can be, committing to a consistent weekly or biweekly time will help you get the most out of your investment in yourself.”
- Be Patient: Therapy is a marathon, not a sprint, Pruden says. “Many therapeutic techniques take time to be effective,” she explains. “Give therapy (and your therapist) some time for change to occur.” If you’re looking for a more specific timeline, you can always ask your therapist how long you should expect to be in therapy.
— Additional reporting by Chandler Plante
Maggie Ryan was an assistant editor at PS. A longtime runner and athlete, Maggie has nearly four years of experience covering topics in the wellness space, specializing in fitness, sports, nutrition, and mental health.
Chandler Plante is an assistant editor for PS Health and Fitness. She has over four years of professional journalism experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributing to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her free time, she enjoys finding new ways to rock her 18(!) different eye patches, and making videos about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.
